A Coaching Culture
Leaders love teachable people: those who absorb our advice and willingly take steps to grow. However, this model doesn’t always exist in leadership cultures. Yet, what if we could perpetuate a teachable and coachable culture? It’s possible. However, when we give up on people, we create a disconnect. Thus, they remain closed to our mentorship. Conversely, when we persist with people, we earn their trust, and they open themselves to our guidance. It’s time to quit throwing in the towel on people when they fail. Instead of replacing people, we should develop them.
Here are 5 practical thoughts to help create and perpetuate a coaching culture:
Show your support.
There’s a fine art to encouraging people. When someone fails, they need to know that you still believe in them and that you are their biggest cheerleader. Championing people is our calling. You can help people see their potential even in their failure. Look for something positive or outstanding in someone when they fail. Don’t immediately point out their failure. Find a way to connect where they currently stand out to where they have fallen down. For example, you could say, “You know how well you did in another area (name other area here)? I know you can grow and bring that same level of excellence and success to THIS area (name current area of failure here). You may have failed, but you are not a failure.” A person’s mistake doesn’t define them; it merely points out an area for growth. Criticism comes hard if someone doesn’t have something positive to grasp or connect to. Thus, they may fall further behind. Let them know that you’re not giving up on them and that they can do this.
Give your all.
It’s much easier for a person to trust you when they know you are for them. Your support doesn’t just show in your words, it shows in your actions. Are you providing resources for your team to grow (i.e. books, videos, mentorship paring, conferences, online training, etc.)? Regularly schedule one-one-one time with your people in advance to build on their strengths and work through weaknesses. When you freely give your energy, time, and resources to someone, you are making an investment that will produce long term results. Don’t think of leadership as a sprint, but rather a marathon. Don’t focus on the immediate results. Rather, project the long-term benefits they will bring to the table as you develop them. See the end from the beginning. This will require more than one-time input or evaluation. You will have to make many withdrawals from people over the course of your leadership. However, if you make sizable investments in people's lives along the way, you will earn the right to coach them.
Watch your language.
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy and even understandable to be frustrated with someone when they fail. It’s even easier to show our disappointment by our body language and our words. Leaders don’t like to lose or fail. However, you must vigilantly guard yourself. The key to this is to emotionally connect yourself to what the person is feeling and experiencing before addressing them. You should even have a conversation with yourself before an opportunity begins to remind yourself that your team isn’t perfect. This will help you prepare yourself for possible and even inevitable failures. Remember when you failed, how you felt, your disappointment, your fear of rejection or even actual rejection. Also, you should recall what happened to you when someone you admired believed in and persisted with you. The goal is to help people up not hold them down. Some of the best leadership and learning memories I have are when someone made me feel ten-feet tall even when I fell flat on my face.
Tell Your Story
Not only should we remember our past experiences, we must share them. When you appropriately disclose your own personal stories of failure, people have a much better chance of recovering from their own. After all, isn’t that goal? In fact, when we help people through sharing our own experiences with failure, they often bounce back even stronger and better equipped for their next go-around. Truthfully, it shouldn’t be hard to find several instances in your personal history to relate to what they’re going through. Don’t be ashamed to share a personal account of failure and what you learned. Trust me, it won’t look bad on your leadership. It will actually help spotlight their potential. You may even tell them something that you’re currently working through. This lets them know that you’re still learning and teaches them that no-one ever graduates from growing, not even you. Be willing to be vulnerable. Tell them you’re thankful someone didn’t give up on you and affirm that you won’t give up on them.
Take your advice.
One of the most important things I can to say to leaders who are quick to replace people is to consider that they too could be replaced. Every time someone fails, it should be a check inside to remain gracious and grateful for your current position. Think of how it would feel if your superiors would give up on you. Consider the story of the wicked servant in Matthew 18:21-25. Also consider that no one can stay in leadership forever. There may come a day where you may be asked to concede to someone else. The seeds you sow in others today will be the fruit you reap tomorrow (Galatians 6:7). The way you treat others will come back to you, plain and simple. Jesus is our ultimate model of leadership. He will never give up on you, and so you must do the same with others. (Hebrews 13:5). When you take your own advice, you are better emotionally equipped to model true leadership. In doing this, you help to influence and reshape the future of your organization into a strong coaching culture.
