Essential Attitudes
After three decades of leadership, I’m still working on my attitude. One would think I had arrived, yet the opposite is true. Navigating the shifting tides in leadership requires a stable and steady outlook. Consistency! Whatever stage or season of leadership you find yourself in, you will need to carry the following four essential attitudes.
Always Knowing vs. Always Learning
The older you get the more you will realize you don’t know. Trust me. However, for some, the “don’t be a know it all” hasn’t sunk in yet. It is presumptuous to equivocate experience with superiority. This will never work in your favor. Don’t get set in your ways. As time passes, technology is more rapidly changing, and more modern and efficient systems of leadership are continually being implemented. This generation is smarter, faster, and more equipped than ever before. Although they need to greatly learn application of wisdom, they are nevertheless progressing at a much more accelerated rate than their predecessors. Don’t underestimate them. Just because you have experience doesn’t mean you won't need more experience (and you will). Be flexible enough to move with the times. Learn as you live. You’re never too grown to keep growing.
Quick to Speak vs. Quick to Listen
This is perhaps the greatest challenge for leaders. Experience, knowledge, and insight equips you to solve problems. Your hands (area of expertise) are of great value to those you lead. It’s part of your job description. Even more valuable than your hands are your ears (heart of understanding). Often, when people speak, they simply want to be heard. People love to talk about themselves. This isn’t a bad thing. Don’t let yourself be irritated with this. Adopt a true interest and intrigue about others. Listen with as much passion as you speak. You will feel your insides wanting to spill out when someone is talking. You must all-the-more stay still, intensely focus, lean in, and fully embrace their words. Attention deficit personalities will find this difficult. Don’t focus on listening. Actually listen.
Right Answers vs. Right Questions
My son is an introspective person. When he was younger, the only way I could get him to tell me about his day was to make specific inquires. I.e. “What did you do today that involved sports?” He would proceed to relate his playground exploits (i.e. the kickball game, running bases, scoring the run, etc.) One story led to another... “Then I got pushed by a classmate… I fell and bruised my elbow… Fish sticks for lunch… Yuck!” This method helped me discover more about him but also helped him share without feeling pressured. Questions make us feel vulnerable at times because we fear appearing incompetent. Yet, we don’t know everything. The right questions allow other’s ideas to emerge and provides them with a platform to lead with their knowledge and experience.
Hard Back and Soft Front
Recent statistics seem to suggest that many companies are hiring prospects more for their likability than their ability. Technical skills are important, but those skills are irrelevant if people don’t like to work with you. People-skills rule the day. In order to be approachable and trustworthy, you have to regularly develop your soft-skills. Learn not to take everything personally. Just because people don’t like your ideas doesn’t mean they don’t like you. It is also imperative to develop a healthy resilience to emotional offense without becoming calloused. Avoid going sub-zero. Stay warm. Be open to honest dialogue and even rejection of your suggested policies and practices. People won’t always agree with your opinions or decisions. Be realistic. Have you always agreed with everything your leaders have ever said or done? Probably not.
