Behavioral Leadership
Would you follow your own leadership? What distinctive qualities and specific practices stand out in your life that would attract others to lead with you? This is something to seriously consider. Leaders must exemplify strong mindsets and distinctive behaviors that set them apart. Here are a few that rise to the top for me.
Acknowledge fear.
Strong leaders are afraid to admit they’re afraid for fear others will absorb their fear. This is totally understandable and even reasonable. Yet, the act of admitting fear takes great courage. Just because you struggle with fear doesn’t mean you’re not brave. You don’t forfeit your leadership when you admit fear. Your vulnerability actually reveals and pulls out strength in others. Your honest vulnerability will bring their dormant gifts and courage to life. The obstacle to great leadership is not feeling fear, rather it’s how you respond to it. People are more connected to leaders who show vulnerability than those who project a false invincibility.
Take courage.
Being afraid is one thing, staying afraid is another. That lump in your throat and cannon ball in your belly are reminders that you need God. That’s a good thing. Mount up with courage all the more. Courage isn’t something that just falls out of the sky. You have to seize it. You have to dig deep. All great leaders feel fear and act anyway. You may feel the presence of fear, but you don’t have to be paralyzed by it. Fear is the normal reaction; courage takes action. God didn’t tell Joshua to ask for courage; He told him to BE courageous (Joshua 1:9). You may feel fear, but you must lead courageously. All you want is just beyond your fears. Start stepping.
Sincerely apologize.
We don’t automatically get people’s trust. It’s something we earn over time. Consistency is the key. However, building trust doesn’t mean we won’t fail people; it simply means we may have to work to regain that trust. When we fail people, we must lay down our pride and show sincere remorse. Great leaders apologize greatly. It’s an artform really. Some give half-hearted attempts at reconciliation. It is difficult for strong headed leaders to admit they are wrong. One powerful phrase that has helped me initially douse out the fires of anger and offense with others is, “That was on me.” After all, at the end of the day, leadership starts and ends with us.
Stay humble.
Being humble isn't always deferring to others. Rather, it’s an attitude of preferring others. Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less. Being kind, considerate, caring, and compassionate are actually a leader’s strong points. Two other distinct qualities of humility are curiosity and intrigue. Many leaders want to appear as the source of all wisdom and experience. Yet, you’re no longer humble when you’ve lost your genuine curiosity and childlike intrigue. Show your learning side. Let others know when you don’t know. Lean in with real interest to other people’s experiences. Staying humble means serving the work versus serving your ego.
Share bold ideas.
Never stop believing. Don’t rely on your available resources to dream. Put your faith out there. Show enthusiasm about the future. You don’t have to jump off the cliff just yet, but at least step up to the edge and peer over it. Lead your team to think and dream bigger. Have the “what could we do if” attitude. No one ever achieved anything great by playing it safe. Refuse to settle for mediocrity and ordinary. No risk, no reward. Create a vision board with images you want to attain to and keep them visible for everyone to see. Mental imprints lead to actual blueprints. Don’t go after your dreams alone. Invite others to pursue them with you.
Identify roadblocks.
What is holding you back? Is it health, finances, character, the past, toxic relationships, hobbies and habits, distractions, dead horses? You must be real with yourself. You cannot remove the roadblocks until you identify them. Be willing to eliminate that which impedes your personal development or the growth of others. Don’t avoid the tough conversations. The signs are there for a reason. You can’t keep breaking past roadblocks. Leaders are prone to brave the unknown, but when you see a roadblock, it doesn’t lead to the unknown, it leads to a dead end. When the sign says “bridge out” it means disaster is ahead. Consider yourself warned.
Manage effectively.
It has been said that leaders aren’t managers. True, leadership is more than management, but leaders must manage effectively to lead effectively. If necessary, get help in this area. Delete the distractions. Focus on what is most important and tackle it head on. Two critical words: consolidate and delegate. Manage your health, mental wellness, finances, relationships, and especially your time. It’s not a matter of prioritizing your schedule but rather scheduling your priorities. Learn to distinguish the difference between the important and the urgent. Manage everything well, and it will serve you well in leading and developing others.
Resist polarization.
Many leaders refuse to consider two sides to an issue. It’s either black or white or not at all. However, to lead people from all walks of life, we have to increase our threshold of diversity and inclusivity. This doesn’t mean we should compromise our integrity or core values. It simply means we’re open to being open. Narrow-minded leaders promote limited perspective. However, in today’s culture, we can’t opt out or avoid vital dialogue regarding politics, faith, or culture because we fear looking weak, uncertain or wrong. We must foster a culture where conversations can take place. This will move us closer to meaningful and lasting impact.
Surrender perfectionism.
Perfectionism doesn’t exist because no one is perfect. It is a futile attempt at an unattainable state. It is entirely protective in nature. We dread appearing incompetent, so we’re constantly stressed to impress. It drives unhealthy competition and hinders authentic community. It often produces ongoing depression, anxiety, and even addiction. Perfectionism is the opposite of striving for excellence, healthy growth, and self-improvement. It is inward-focused: What will people think about me? It is, at its core, about working to earn approval. Conversely, healthy striving is outward-focused: How will this benefit the lives of those I lead?
