Lead-her-ship
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25 NIV)
Often, men do a great job leading their teams, their ministry, their office, their staff, etc., but fail to lead their wives well. Our wives are looking to us to help guide them. We must give a more valiant effort to our marriages. Here are a few things to help you lead the number one relationship in your life. I’m still working on every one of these.
Love her.
Husbands should love their wives, surrendering their rights just as Christ did for His bride. Her needs come first. Marriage is not 50/50 give-and-take. Marriage is 100% giving. We don’t give to get. We give to give. Men can be demanding and selfish at times. Yet, the more a man learns to walk in sacrificial love, the more his wife will be convinced of his love, and the more apt to reciprocate that love. If a man doesn’t sacrifice for his wife, all of the words in the world cannot convince her that he really loves her.
Serve her.
It’s one thing to serve. It’s another thing to willingly serve. Love looks like something: serving. Serving isn’t always fun, but it is fulfilling for your marriage. Serving is how we demonstrate true power in manhood. Also, we don’t serve because our spouses deserve it. We serve because we love them. When we serve, in spite of our wives deserving it, we demonstrate the same undeserved grace that God gives to us. Love is a verb. It is demonstrated. You’re never more like Jesus than when you serve your wife.
Protect her.
Don’t let anything or anyone drain your wife of her joy and strength. Do the simple things. Open the door for her. Don’t let her do the heavy lifting. Protect her emotions. Help guard her perspective. Don’t allow anyone to pit you against your wife. Don’t take sides with your kids or your parents. She is number one. Avoid participating in locker room talk about your wife. Don’t ever call her the “ball and chain.” She is not a ball and chain. She is your wings. Defend her and advocate for her with a vigilance.
Be kind to her.
Proverbs 19:22 tells us that a man’s most desirable trait is his kindness. Sometimes we don’t realize our gruff voice and our rough demeanor. We must be gentle, using words that evoke their beauty (Ephesians 5:26 MSG). Nothing is more attractive to our wives than our kindness. Our looks will change, but our kindness will remain. Gentleness is a visible representation of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Our wives are fragile (1 Peter 3:7). We should handle their hearts like a crystal vase lest it shatter to pieces.
Be patient with her.
In ballroom dancing, a woman’s steps are more complicated. A woman has ten steps for every man’s three. This means that the man has to wait for the woman to complete her steps before making the next move. If a man isn’t careful, he can push or rush his dance partner through her moves before she fully completes her steps, and she may stumble. In life, women typically take a little longer to process things before moving on a matter. We must be patient with our wives in order to better walk together.
Listen to her.
In 1 Kings 2:19-20, Bathsheba asks King Solomon not to refuse to entreat her. Solomon humbly bows before her and says, “I will listen to all you have to say.” If you want to walk in authority as a husband, you must bow your pride and bend your ear. Women’s intuition is not a myth. Your wife has a God-given radar that senses things. Their deep, intuitive insight is very real. Many times, my wife’s caution and concern saved me from making poor decisions out of impulsivity and impatience. Listen to your wife.
